Why Waifuism?

“Why are you in love with a cartoon character?”

When this question is asked, it’s often loaded with accusatory statements about someone. “You just need to improve your low self esteem, and then you can date real people,” or “You’re taking a fetish too far,” or even “You’re some sort of pervert misogynist who thinks real girls aren’t ‘perfect’ enough.”

These kinds of statements might be accurate, but more often they are hurtful to those in 2D relationships. Stigmas and stereotypes surrounding the 2D lifestyle are already plentiful. For example, a New York Times article from 2009 attempted to investigate 2D Love. It is one of the only mainstream publications to report on the lifestyle – and it’s also one of the biggest sources of misinformation about the topic. Instead of interviewing a variety of people committed to their 2D partners, the author decided to dedicate two-thirds of the article to hyperfocusing on lolicon hentai, as well as featuring photographs of a scruffy middle-aged man who totes a used body pillow around everywhere he goes. (In case you haven’t already guessed, this is not typical 2D relationship behavior.)

Back to the topic at hand: why do people fall in love with cartoon characters? Well, it turns out that these kinds of relationships happen for a variety of reasons. To name just a few…

Misogyny

This is the elephant in the room that I want to get out of the way first. There are more than a handful of people in 2D relationships simply because they feel the idealized relationships in their head are much better than anything a real person could give them. These people often target characters who they feel are “out of their league”, and they may have harems of sexy characters that they regularly imagine falling all over them. (Frequently these are straight men fawning over anime women, but not always.)

You can often pick these rotten apples out in a group because they will brag about how hot their partners are, complain about how 3D girls are gross/ugly compared to animated girls, talk about how they’re “unlovable,” and make sexist or racist comments. It’s no wonder they’re regularly kicked out of 2D Love discussion spaces!

Loneliness

Another elephant in the room with a grain of truth to it. There are people who choose to imagine themselves dating a character to fill the emptiness they feel between real-life relationships. This “hugblanketing” helps them feel less upset after a bad break-up and eases loneliness during long periods where dating is not possible.

Because it’s intended to be a temporary fling, some 2D Love forums do not accept hugblanketers.

Previous Trauma

2D relationships are safer than human relationships. There is little chance of being abused by a partner who only exists in your head. People who have been through traumatizing experiences may find refuge in a loving and comforting relationship with the 2D person of their choice. This can also occur as a normal imaginary friendship instead of a romantic relationship.

These kinds of relationships vary in length and intensity. Sometimes they are short-lived, temporary supports while someone is in the process of recovering. Other times, lasting bonds are formed, and the relationship lasts long beyond the initial pain.

Fictionkin

Fictionkin is a long, complicated subject that would take more than a few paragraphs in a brief blog to cover. The short explanation is that when a person identifies on a deep spiritual or psychological level as a fictional character, it is called Fictionkin. Fictionkin folk have a tendency to be attached to their sources and the people in it. Many Fictionkin even feel “canonsickness” – a sadness that comes from them missing the fictional world.

Many (but not all) Fictionkin subscribe to Multiverse theory, and believe that their fictional counterparts really exist in a different universe. It makes sense, then, that some Fictionkin choose to pursue an imaginary relationship with the same partner as their “other self,” showing their commitment to that person in more than one world. In this way, they’re like star-crossed lovers in a very, very long-distance relationship.

No Interest in Real People

Attraction is a broad spectrum. Some people are asexual and aromantic when it comes to real people, but they still experience romantic and/or sexual attraction towards animated characters. These people are not happy in relationships with real people, but still enjoy 2D relationships. These people have the advantage of knowing that they will end up with someone 2D, giving them a chance to “date” 2D characters and see who they’re compatible with.

As with most 2D relationships, this does not mean anything is wrong with the person. Asexuality/aromanticism are normal, healthy parts of the sexuality and romantic spectrums. Remember, Different People Have Different Needs. People who experience attraction exclusively to 2D characters are not “missing out,” and they certainly do “not need to be “fixed.”

“It Just Happened”

2D Love doesn’t always need a reason. Sometimes, a character appears on screen, or in the pages of a comic, and wham! You’re head-over-heels. This is one of the most common explanations people give when they’re asked about their 2D relationship.

The 2D Love phenomena occurs even among people who have been dating real, human partners for years and is not an indicator of loneliness or hopelessness. All it means is that you’ve fallen for someone who’s a little less than real. There is no shame in that.

Sudden feelings of 2D love can be confusing and scary. If you’re struggling with your feelings for a 2D Character, I invite you to read my article explaining why your love doesn’t mean you’ll be lonely.

Don’t know where to start in your 2D relationship? Click here!